Maybe I am Crazy
by ColleenRichelle
Summary: really bored when I wrote this. It doesn't have a plot or anything, like I said, I was relly bored.


Chapter 1

"Maybe I am crazy. They all say it. Their words are like poison that slip from their mouths. Do they realize the meaning of what they say? Or has ever word they use been watered down so much through the years that they can rant and rave, throwing around all these words that are harsher than they intend for them to mean?

Maybe my problem is I think too much. Every word spoken to me is not just a word, it's a definition, used to define me and the world around us in which we live. I can see them, strung along the world, lined up in an orderly fashion. Normal in their quotas, in each other's eyes. And if they are normal in the majority, then it is the minority that is not right.

This is a darker world than I know. It has grown darker with age. My mind, that is. It wasn't always this cynical.

Stories unfold behind my eyes, making it so that the world is processed with a warped view. I used to see clearly. I was able to take people for what they were; unimportant specks that make up this life. But through the years I suppose they've gotten to me, haven't they? I guess somewhere along the way, I lost the normal quota that is the standard for every person.

No matter the challenged and the sickly and the blind and the dumb. We are all held up to the same standards and expectations as everybody else.

I could rant and rage about the unfairness and cruelty of the world, now couldn't I? I could sit and ramble about the unfairness of our lives and the injustice we undergo and suffer through. But I suppose that wouldn't help my case much now, would it? I mean here you are, right, sitting in your big leather chair that, in my humble opinion, is way too extravagant, and you see all these god awful patients, every one crazier then the next. I'm sure you jus treat me as another number, another guy passing through the system. Am I right, Doc? Oh shit," I said. "I was talkin' out loud again, wasn't I?"

The man standing beside the doctor grinned a little and I shot my head. "What are you grinning about?" the smile disappeared as quickly as it had came and his body slouched back into itself, as if he were afraid of me. That was an odd thought that I toyed around with for a moment. Someone being afraid of me. Funny. It was me who was always afraid of everyone.

"Now wait just a minute Mr. Bailey. Mr. Forman didn't mean any harm. Jus sit back and relax."

"For the love of God, call me Simon. Mr. Bailey is my father, and how awful that would be if I were my father."

"Right, okay Simon. How about you just sit tight while I run over your files. Can I get you anything? A cool drink or something?" I reached in my pocket.

"We allowed to smoke in here?" I asked as I put the cigarette in my mouth and held the lighter to it ready for approval. I flicked it open and a orange flame burst out. The last time I had a smoke was four days ago when this whole mess started in the first place.

"I'm sorry Simon, but we have a strict no smoking policy. After we're done however, Mr. Forman could escort you outside."

"I can't just smoke in here?" He shook his head.

"No. Don't you know the rules? You haven't been able to smoke in a public place for over ten years."

"Yeah I know, but I just need one, one small one. You wouldn't mind, now, would you? Hell, I'm sure both of ya have smoked at some point in your lives. Can't I get some sympathy?"

"To tell you the truth Simon," the doctor said as he leaned over his massive oak desk, sending a few papers flying over the desk. "I've never been too fond of smoking. Now you can either put that back in your pocket or I'll have no choice but to throw it away." I looked at the cigarette and looked back at the Doc and realized what a waste it would be and how the argument was already lost and put it back in the case. The room was stiff and was making me uncomfortable. I stood up abruptly, making Mr. Forman uncomfortable yet again. This was going to be fun.

"I'll sit out in the waiting room." I said as I walked to the door. Mr. Forman scurried after me, making it clear he wanted nothing to do with my presence by staying as far away as he possibly could. I took a seat on one of the many blue seats placed in a row. Forman sat seven chairs away from me. I counted.

"Say, why don't you just go back in the office with what's-his-face?" He looked up and cleared his throat, although it did little for his shaking voice.

"Dr. Preston instructed you to be under supervision at all times. That's my job." He looked down at his shoes while he talked.

"Oh I see." It got awkwardly quiet. "Hey, Form. Why do you work here?" He shot up his head. "You don't mind if I call you Form, right?" What seemed like a simple question turned out to make him even more uncomfortable, he was unsure of how to answer that. "Oh come on Forman, you must deal with tons of cases worse off than me, I'm sure you've been asked a shit load of harder questions in your day. It's real simple; why do you work here if you hate it so much?"

"This is actually my third day here."

"Oh." That was all I had to say about that. I twiddled my thumbs as the minutes passed. I wondered why the minutes were going so slow. Did time always go so slowly? Maybe I really was crazy.

"You still didn't answer my question by the way." I could tell he was getting upset. He finally got over his initial shyness; now he was getting angry.

"Cause I've got a wife to feed, and we want to start a family so we need money."

"You want to start a family." I was in shock.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why would you want to do something like that?" He shrugged.

"I don't know. What's with the weird questions?"

"I just find you weird that's all." I said as I put my feet on the blue chair. The plastic squeaked under my muddy boots. It had been pouring outside when I was escorted in. That had been hours ago. I wondered if it was still raining like that. I loved the rain. For a split second, I got really angry that I was not allowed outside in the pouring rain. That's the weather I love the best; the rain. The anger washed over me as Forman replied.

"What's so weird about me?"

"Alright," I said as I took out the cigarette I had put back in the doctors office. "I'll tell you exactly what's weird about you. Do you like your job?"

"Well, it's not what I imagined."

"Alright, granted this isn't your dream job. But you settled, nonetheless, correct?"

"You could say that-"

"And you like kids?"

"No but-"

"But you want to start a family."

"Yeah, that's right."

"That's what's wrong with you Form." I blew some smoke over to him. "You do what you're expected to do."

"Hey, save the speech for some other guy alright? I like my life, no, I love my life. And you don't know a godamn thing about it."

"I'm glad to hear that Forman. That's thrilling." It was quiet again. I was about to get to my point when the Doc called me in. I heard his deep voice bellow from inside the room, just a couple feet from where I was sitting.

"Simon." He called. "Why don't you come on back? I've got some news for you." I gave a cheeky smile at Forman and he stood up and lifted up my arm.

"I'm glad to see you've broken out of your shell there Forman."

"Mr. Forman. It's Mr. Forman." Was all he said about that.


End file.
